a POEM for today

After the Movie 

by Marie Howe

My friend Michael and I are walking home arguing about the movie 

He says that he believes a person can love someone 

and still be able to murder that person. 

I say, No, that's not love. That's attachment. 

Michael says, No, that's love. you can love someone, then come to a day

when you're force to think "it's him or me" 

think "me" and kill him. 

I say, Then it' snot love anymore. 

Michael says, It was love up to then though. 

I say, Maybe we mean different things by the same word. 

Michael says, Humans are complicated: love can exist even win the murderous heart.

I say that what he might mean by love is desire. 

Love is not a feeling, I say. And Michael says, 'Then what is it? 

We're walking along West 16th Street - a clear unclouded night - and I hear my voice 

repeating what I used to say to my husband: love is action, I used to say to him. 

Simone Weil says that when you really love you are able to look at someone you want to eat and not eat them. 

Janis Joplin says, take another little piece of my heart now baby. 

Meister Eckhart says that as long as we love any image we are doomed to live in purgatory. 

Michael and I stand on the corner of 6th Avenue saying goodnight. 

I can't drink enough of the tangerine spritzer I've just bought - 

again and again I bring the cold can to my mouth and suck the stuff from the hole the flip top made

What are you doing tomorrow? Michael says. 

But what I think he's saying is "You are too strict. You are a nun."

Then I think, Do I love Michael enough to allow him to think these things of me even if he's not thinking them? 

Above Manhattan, the moon wanes, and the sky turns clearer and colder. 

Although the days, after the solstice, have started to lengthen, 

we both know the winter has only begun. 

hiatUS

It's been way too long since I've written. A few things have happened along the way. To sum it all up briefly, there have been, and continue to be, a few transitions. Thankfully, they are all planned and joyful changes that have happened in a timely fashion. Regardless, it's been a blessing to be able to take the time to say thank you to all of my wonderful friends and family along the way.

When I get anxious about the small things in life, it's helpful to remember that "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well." 

Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze

Well it's all right, if you live the life you please

Well it's all right, doing the best you can and

You can sit around and wait for the phone 

Well it's all right, as long as you lend a hand

You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring

Waiting for someone to tell you everything

Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring 

Maybe a diamond ring  

Well it's all right, even if they say you're wrong

Well it's all right, sometimes you gotta be strong

Well it's all right, As long as you got somewhere to lay

Well it's all right, everyday is Judgement Day  

Maybe somewhere down the road aways

You'll think of me, wonder where I am these days

Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays 

Purple haze

Well it's all right, even when push comes to shove

Well it's all right, if you got someone to love

Well it's all right, eveything'll work out fine

Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line

Don't have to be ashamed of the car I drive

'm glad to be here, happy to be alive

It don't matter if you're by my side

I'm satisfied

Well it's all right, even if you're old and grey

Well it's all right, you still got something to say

Well it's all right, remember to live and let live

Well it's all right, the best you can do is forgive

Well it's all rall right, riding around in the breeze

Well it's all right, if you live the life you please

Well it's all right, even if the sun don't shine

Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line